Blog 4 Alcohol

     A particular smell in my history would have to be my long stay at the hospital.  In December 2005 I was in a terrible car accident.  It was early in the morning around 7 a.m, and the rain was coming down.  It was cold out and the water on the road begin to turn to ice.  The car slid in the ice and hit a pole.  I became paralyzed from the neck down.  My face and my whole body was swolen.  I had shattered my jaw and the doctors had to place arch bars and plates to hold it together.  I had a tracheotomy to brethe.  I was unable to speak for two and a half months.

     I had to stay at the hospital for almost six months.  Everyday was a routine down to the minute.  Basicly I did the same things everyday.  I know that pretty much everybody knows the smell of a hospital, but I was able to smell every single thing.  I don’t know if it was because of the accident or the new medications they were giving me, but different things made me nausous.  I remember the smells of the bandages and wraps that they put on my open wounds.  I could even smell the tape and to this day I’ll recognize that med tape smell.  My day time tech was Linda and she wore a flowery perfume that gave me a headache.  Iremember her and her scent very well because I spent everyday with her for six months.  Other smells that come to mind is the daily air sanitizer that housekeeping sprayed after they cleaned.  It smells exactly like the no fragrance Lysol that I use at home to disinfect.  I had to take vitamins daily and they smell literaly like throw up.  To this day if I have to take a vitamin I’ll hold my nose. 

    I realize that many people have stayed at a hospital, but I don’t think very many people get to experience it like I have.  My months at the hospital were very dramatic.  Many days were sad and depressing for me.  Especially in the begining when I was unable to get off the bed.  The first two months I laid in that bed only being able to watch television.  All my family lives in San Antonio, so the only visitor I had was my husband.  I cried daily and prayed that I would get better and go home.  It is the most depressing time in my life.  I remember feeling like my life was over.

     Since my accident I have been to the hospital many times, but none of them compare to this one.  Times when I get sick it takes everything for me to go to the hospital.  I’am scared they will keep me there and I’ll be depressed allover again.  There are many times that I smell the familar scent of the hospital.  Such as bandages, wraps, and the stinky vitamins.  One of the biggest ones that brings me flashbacks is the alcohol.  I guess because they used the pads so often to clean my central line and get medications.  When I get a whiff I get this image in my head of me laying down on a hospital bed.  I use to cry alot when I start thinking about it.  Not anymore, I think of it as look how far I’ve come.  Not to include how lucky I feel to be able to come out of all that and still go on with life.  People always try to cheer me up by telling me everything will be okay, I finally realized they were right.  Now I’am strong enough to talk about it.  It has grown from a depression to an accomplishment.

 

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