Blog 5 It’s A Girl!

     When I look at my life and ask ” What would I do differently? “  That’s so easy, I wish I would have waited to have a child.  I had my daughter at 17 years young.  Of course, still at home living with my mother.  I was going to my senior year in high school.  I did’nt realize then that I was way too young to have a baby.  Not only that, but I had no idea how to properly care for a baby.  I thought all you had to do is change diapers and make bottles.  This is both my boyfriends (at the time) and my first baby.  He is only a year older than me and we had nothing to offer this baby, materialistic or experience.  We both had to get a job.  At first I was going to school and working and then it got so hard that I dropped out.  Everyone encouraged us to get married and we did.  I feel like we all suffer because of that mistake we made.  Edward has to work at a back breaking job to support us with no diploma.

     I had planned my life so differently.  I was a straight “A” student all my life.  In high school I was in R.O.T.C all four years.  I ranked 8th in my class of 210, and I wanted to graduate so bad.  I wanted to go to the Army reserves.  I imagined myself going out clubing to have fun like other teens.  I thought I would go out and date different guys till I found the right one.  Don’t get me wrong I love my husband, but I feel we really just got married because it was the right thing to do for the baby.  At age 23 I still pictured myself single.  I would go to a four year university and get a bachlors.  Now I don’t have that time I need to get the associates degree to start working and helping with the bills.  When I got out of school, got into a career, and financially stable I’ll be at the right stage to get married.  This is when I would be thinking of having children.  When we have more to offer a baby and would’nt have to worry about struggling.

  Can I create a new opportunity for the missed one?  Well let’s see I’am already happily married even though I did’nt get to experience dating a whole bunch of wierd unique guys.  If that would of happened the guys I hear about probably would have scared me out of marriage and choosing a lifetime partner.  Idid go back to school and was able to get my GED.  Not the way I planned it but I was already too old to go back to high school.  I’ve just started community college and plan on a two year degree.  It is much tougher to do homework and focus on studing when a five year old is depending on me to help with her homwork.  Also I need to get dinner on the table every night.  I did the full time student this semester but I’m thinking I couldonly handle part time next semester.  My family has already been in hard times and you can’t make up for that.  I believe I can still reach my goal, but its going to take twice as long and be twice as hard.  A baby at a young age put me two steps behind on everything I do.

     The most important thing I’ve learned is to use birth control, because one decisions can change your whole life.  I will really think about the consequences when you have unprotected sex.  I can move on with my life and progress.  On the good side I can help others like my daughter and my little sisters by giving them advice about having a child young.  I guess I’ve learned my lesson because I only have one child. HA!  I want a second child, but now I know to plan ahead and wait till were prepared.

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