Blog # 15 Change
May 9, 2008 eternity5
That is very funny that we would have this on a blog because I have been thinking and talking about this with my friends. Before my accident I was a very active, happy person. It was almost impossible to find me in a bad mood. I always tried to cheer people up and l was there to liven up the day. Then I had the terrible accident that bound me to a wheelchair and took my spirit away. I become a totally different person and everyone around me noticed. People tried to cheer me up especially my husband Edward. I did not have conversations with anyone just yes or no responses. I noticed how much I had changed but there was nothing I could do to come back. It was like I was on the outside looking in.
About six months after I had gotten out of the hospital I tried to go back to school but it didn’t work out for me. I felt so alone and out of place. I would be in the classroom then all of sudden start feeling sad and needed to step out to the restroom to cry. Even today I can’t explain why I felt that bad. Slowly I started talking to more people around my apartment. My counselor kept on convincing me to get out of the house and do something. I felt like I was ready to go back to school. I stopped caring that people were staring at me in public.
In December I registered and all I could really think of was I’m I wasting my time again. As I came everyday I loosened up and people started talking to me. Everyone at the college has always been so nice and friendly. My attitude is better and I enjoy getting up in the morning everyday. I’m back! Thats how I feel. At home my daughter and my husband seem alot happier to me. This semester has really helped me get back into the groove. I work hard and I’m a stronger person for getting through it. I over the nervousness of being around alot of people in my wheelchair. It has helped me to accept that this wheelchair is not who I’am. I’m still the same person from before just sitting in a wheelchair. Everyone has always told me that this is just the first time that I beleive it.
I have over come the idea ofr being handicapped. I don’t feel handicapped and theres nothing I can’t do like everyone else, especially in school. When I turn in my paper it don’t look any different than anyone elses. If not my paper is better. Ha! I wanted to accomplish getting through the whole semester. Not pass or fail just get through it. For some people thats easy but last time I only went ten days. I’ve done it and now I feel that I could go another four years. Another thing that I wanted was to get straight A’s and I didn’t. My whole life I have never settled for anything less in school. I’ve gotten an A in three classes and I don’t think I’m getting an A in english. That doesn’t surprise me its my hardest subject. Besides that I came a long way and I’m proud of myself.
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